She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
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