just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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