it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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