I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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