Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
