Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
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