Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
