The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
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