Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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