if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
