Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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