so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
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