Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
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