I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.