do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.