Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.