As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?