Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine