you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n