did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize