worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize