Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize