this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
