I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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