she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
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