suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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