dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
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