Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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