fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
