i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
