Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
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We are two peas in an std pod
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
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If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.