I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.