you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?