Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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