Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize