Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
