She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
