I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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