11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i think i have two assholes
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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