I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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