There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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