he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
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