It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
