Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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