Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
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