So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize