Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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