Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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