Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize