She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
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Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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