He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Randomize
