Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
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Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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