How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize