hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
