I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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