the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
