I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Randomize